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The things we do...especially to ourselves....

When I started this blog, I had an idea, a vision (please consider "vision," in this case, to have a good deal less inflated importance as is its usual association), a vision of what function this blog would serve, and how I would go about making that happen. The idea was that, along with normal blogging, I would also discuss some of the things that had happened in recent months, things that had a fairly large impact on my current interests.

I am fickle at times, particularly in regards to blogging, in which I can be so inspired as to have a running list of topics to blog about (and their order) or have a frustration-fueled distaste for the notion of even trying. Knowing that, it wasn't entirely surprising that some time passed with nary a word typed. Then more time passed. It became increasingly difficult to pick it up again, as is the point I'll get to shortly.

I had made the decision that I would tell things in a particular order, and when time passed, some things changed, and new things happened, it began to seem a tall order. Because of my (bull-headed) stricture to this self-imposed plan, and the increasingly daunting task I was creating for myself, I essentially rendered this blog dead. Useless. Wasted. And what guilt or despair (no matter how minute) do you suppose that breeds?

The issue was, in part, that some things I considered pivotal at the time were, in the end, things that I became far less enthusiastic about and some, in fact, turned out to be far less rewarding than they initially seemed (brought on by my finding out how people can ruin them, as is too often true, just by being...people)

...(unfinished)...